June 2, 2003 04:01 PM
Rant # 1
Hello. My name is Rich. I'm told I have some anger issues. At the very
least I'm a brooding introvert. Apparently my ranting on is interesting enough
to warrant my own little section on Brian's page. Personally, I think giving
me a forum to bitch about all the stupid, petty shit in the world that bothers
me is unhealthy. However, I have no desire to live forever and I indulge in
self destructive acts on a regular basis, so I enthusiastically accepted.
My first rant will be on the subject of the use of the word money as an
adjective. This was, of course, popularized in the movie Swingers. For those
who haven't seen it, it's a more or less worthless movie. It's kinda like teen
fuck movies, except with Gen-Xers. To its credit, it DID have some rather
funny parts, but was mostly just a mediocre comedy, with one exception. "You're
so money." That phrase was used enough to forever burn it into my memory
while not causing me to induce pain in myself and on my DVD player. The part
where there is an argument about whether one person is money almost ruined about a
thousand bucks worth of dental work. I can't remember how the movie ends,
but I'm sure it involves fucking. All I really remember about the movie is they
went to Vegas to get some fucking and they called each other money a lot and
I hated them all for it.
Having read all that (assuming you're still reading) you might what I say
next to be somewhat odd. Lately I have found MYSELF telling people that
they're money. It's not even like I saw the movie recently. Must've been a year
ago at least. Apparently that damn phrase has been tumbling around in my
subconscious for a while and has decided to come out and play. Why in the world
would I go around spouting prominent lines from a movie I publicly and vehemently
hated? I can only think of two things, unless I'm a hypocrite. Which I
certainly can be, but I don't think I am in this case. Anyway. The first reason
is because I don't say it the way they did. They said it like being money was
some godlike, unattainable-by-mortals thing and that they were offended that
the money person could not see the moneyness in themselves. Consequently, it
came out rather annoying, almost condescending. When I surprise myself by
saying it, it's often more of a substitute word for cool or awesome, etc. The
person just performed some unnecessary and unexpected act of kindness, for which
their status must be recognized. The second reason is that it simply rolls
off the tongue. My name, Rich, is not a very good one, at least as far as
inserting it into sentences. The ch noise makes for an awkward transition to the
next word and thus sentences can lose a smooth flow. Richard is better, but I
prefer Rich. Most people end up calling me Richard because, I think, it
flows better to a new word. Similarly the so transitions seamlessly with the m in
money. It's easy to say.
Is that enough to justify using this phrase I abhorred so much? I don't
know, all I know is that they were a bunch of asshole and I'm not, well, not
when it comes to that anyway. And that's good enough for me.
Posted at 04:01 PM
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